He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
