Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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