Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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