i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
