Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
