my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
