Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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