Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
