How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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