I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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