I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
