you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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