my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
