Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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