so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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