I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Pooping to opera.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
