Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
