Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
