Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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