so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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