I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You don't make any sense
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