I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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