im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize