Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
