she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
