I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
