It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
