So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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