big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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