It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
