I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When did angry sex become our thing?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize