Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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