But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
