some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
