So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i drank out of a bidet.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
