I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
