walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
