Cold hands, warm shart.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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