Its about making memories worth repressing
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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