Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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