they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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