There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
