nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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