If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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