spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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