of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
