I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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