I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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