I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can't turn off my feet"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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