He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
