Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yo dont text me then not text me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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